thoughts with no rhythm

I'm alone and I need to write.

If someone were to approach me in the future and offer me a million dollars to relive this weekend so far I'd have to hurt them.

A character flaw in my DNA needs to find the levity or fun in very serious situations and this weekend has been a satire of sorts indeed.

This flaw can be annoying to others and I have worked to suppress it with little success but I realize it has kept me from folding like a lawn chair during intense situations.

There was nothing fun with the news that came forth at about 5:30 on Friday night.

I am glad and thankful to know I am human.

Distance blurs communication.

Pending updates via phone are difficult to wait for.

Sue - you are the best.

I am thankful for Mark. A strong voice of reason.

I am thankful for Laura. A speedy traveler.

Kyle Bergin - you are the man.

Janet - your email worked wonders.

our first crop is down in the ground, baby!

Today we roped off our square foot garden into 21" x 19" blocks. I know this measurement isn't a square foot so please spare me any corrections from the millions of square foot gardening purists who read me.

According to the gardening calendar, peas and onions can go in now... so in they went. This has been a very satisfying quest thus far and I cannot even imagine what it will feel like when these crops come to fruition and I'm plucking sugar snap peas right off the vine and eating them... in my own backyard!

Any tips and/or advice is greatly appreciated. We've been researching online but welcome testimony as to what works and what doesn't. Stuff like what crops shouldn't go next to each other and so on.

Question: A guy at work told me he planted hot peppers next to tomatoes and the tomatoes came up spicy. Is this bull**** or what?






Oh don't you worry little onions, your neighbors are on their way.

let's get organic

The raised garden I planned, researched and built is finished. It was a lot more work than I thought it was going to be. Good thing I had my handy little garden expert Eric to help me. Sue is now an official "square foot gardener." Have fun Sue!

all night security

Here we go again.

Everyone's in bed.
I can't sleep.
Because I'm working nights this month.
And I can't sleep at night when I'm off from work.

So I'll be security tonight.
On watch.
For monsters.
For criminals.

Going to find something quiet to do.

Maybe I'll pay some bills at the kitchen table.
Don't have many.
Paid most of them last night.

Maybe I'll watch some movies.
Mostly just the ends of movies.
Finish one, flip the channel.
This one looks good.
But it's halfway through.
Watch it, flip. Watch it, flip.

I'm not with society right now.
12 hours behind everyone.

The cats are in their place.
Rex on the couch.
Thor on the red chair.
Rex is snoring loudly.
Just like last night.

Maybe I'll get on the computer.
To do a search.
I have to find some stuff.
To finish the raised garden tomorrow.
For my wife.

Maybe I'll be lost in thought.
About productive daylight.
Or knowing my kids.
Or watching them grow.
Or giving Sue a hand.
With her daily job.

It's a grind.
This all night security gig.
The hours are long.
The hours are lonely.
The hours are hard.

It is my job.

And I love it.

never ever do this

I am begging you to never ever play I SPY with a hopped-up four year old at night in a car. There are many other things a family can do for entertainment. Obviously I SPY was a big mistake on my part and I rank it after ripping one's own fingernails out with pliers on the enjoyment meter.

Happy Passover and Happy Easter to all.

1st real haircut

Eric sat in a barber's chair for the first time when he turned one. He screamed bloody murder. Our youngest, Evan, didn't make it there until 17 months (besides a bangs trim here and there). He was very patient and didn't mind it one bit.

Sue had a hard time letting go of Evan's beautiful curly mullet. I on the other hand could no longer deal with strangers referring to Evan as "her" or "she." Something had to be done for the sake of manhood. Here you go:

what a sucka I am

Well fans, it appears I've been duped. What I thought was a good move (dumping Comcast) turns out to be quite the contrary. Unless you look at the money saving part. That part of the deal is still intact.

I am only half happy now unlike yesterday when I was stupiridiculously happy.

I did not get what I wanted. The DirectTV salesperson (let's not be shy about it) LIED to my ear (we were on the phone).

One frickin' channel. That's all I cared about.

I don't care about:

• Comcast Sportsnet Bay Area
• Comcast Sportsnet Chicago
• Comcast Sportsnet New England
• Comcast Sportsnet New York
• Comcast Sportsnet Mid-Atlantic (Washington DC)

I do care about: Comcast Sportsnet Philly

Boy, I screwed up real bad.

Note to Comcast Sportsnet Philly:

I'm sorry I left you. What a fool I am! I will return I promise. Please do what you can to let the Phillies and Sixers and Flyers have awesome championship seasons. I will be watching from afar, mostly on the 11pm news highlights. I will come back to you and never let go again, after my effing 2 year agreement with DirectTV is up and I rip this dog-humping hunk of metal off the side of my house. I am sending my love, to keep you warm and snuggly.

Joe

Later today DirectTV is getting a phone call. Lock your doors and windows. It's gonna get ugly.

for love OF wallet

I'm happy at this moment. There is a brand spanking new DirectTV dish being attached to the side of my house right now. It's kind of sexy.

I am keeping comcast internet service but have decided to drop cable TV. Comcast makes me mad on many levels. First of all, I am sick and tired of sending them over two benjamins a month for, in my honest opinion, a subpar channel selection and internet that isn't even close to speeds that they advertise. Secondly, they docked their key employees, people I like to call "runts" (the technicians) a 100 bucks a paycheck. All this coupled with the fact that they have the tallest, most obscene brand new skyscraper dominating the Philly skyline makes me really ill. I will keep the internet as a gesture of good will towards the many technicians (runts)I've had visit my house to fix a problem or install equipment. These people always performed service with a smile and treated my home with respect.

This is a leap of faith on my part. I have heard horror stories about DirectTV. But, in the end a change was in order and change is sometimes tough. With savings of $100 a month I think I'll live. I'll keep you posted.